My New Years Resolution: Choosing Happiness

  Every year I make resolutions I never keep.  Then I get frustrated with myself because of my lack of discipline.  So after this past year and all the changes I hope to come this year I have decided to choose happiness in whatever situation I am in.  I honestly feel we are all in control of our own happiness even if the circumstances are not good.  I fully believe happiness is a chose more than it is a feeling.  So this year I am committed to choosing happiness in every situation.
   What is your New Years resolution?

Why My Son Makes Me Want To Be Better

  Yes, I have 2 daughters.  I don't love them any less than my son.  I don't want less for them.  And until my son I thought I was doing the best I could for them.  But they aren't boys.  They won't marry a woman.  And that is what made me realize I want to be better.
  I heard it said that boys marry women like their mothers and girls marry men like their fathers.  That made me think, am I the kind of woman I'd want my son to spend his life with?  It was a hard reality, because I'm not.  So now I will try harder to be better.  It took having a son to see their is a better version of myself I want to strive for.  There was nothing wrong with before, but now I've raised my standards.  That means this:
-Making a choice to get dressed (and showered) everyday
-Welcome my husband home happily instead of dumping my problems on him
-Choosing to let them see me be goofy (nothing will help the years pass like laughter)
-Putting my husband's needs first
-Exercising and eating healthier

  These things may seem vain or unimportant to some, but to me they are things I want my son to look for in a woman.  Not that I'm looking for outer beauty.  Getting dressed, showering, exercising and eating better makes me feel better about myself.  And when I feel better, I am happy.  Sadness is natural, and my kids will see me cry.  But self-pity is destructive.  I don't want that to be a trait my children think is normal.  My goofy I tend to hide out of fear they may not see me as an authority.  Why, I don't know.  But I've realized that authority will not change by me being myself with them.  Putting my husband first...I know not every one agrees your children should come last. I know, biblical, what is said and how much sense it makes to me for the order to be God, husband, children.  I get that, but don't always model that.  I need to.  Not just for my son either.
  Has having children changed the way you see yourself or your actions?

Part 3: My Mental Preparation For a C-Section

  At my 36 week appointment my ob set my surgery for just a mere 8 days later.  I had no birth plan (gasp!).  I have 2 other kids at home and my nerves were already on edge about this new experience that was quickly approaching.  I couldn't think straight long enough to create on.  I knew in my head what I'd accept and what I was willing to put my foot down on.

  Other than having trouble getting the bleeding to stop, my surgery went well.  I had a beautiful 7 lb. 6 oz. healthy baby boy 3 weeks early.  I took the pain medicine as instructed.  After a year and a half of NO synthetic medication that sent my body all out of whack (more on that later).  But I had no back-lash or fight over my refusal to vaccinate,  I didn't even need to give them my informed refusal form.  And they didn't make me sign any weird paper.  I was very grateful for that.  I didn't need a plan, they allowed me to do as I felt best.  When I asked to give my new baby a bottle because my milk still hadn't set in, no comments were made.  I was allowed to keep a paper that tracked everything so they didn't have to come in as often.  Aside from the c-section recovery being so much harder than my vaginal births, it went very smooth.  

  I think this experience was God's way of reminding me I can't control it all.  Before finding out vaginal birth wasn't an option I was dead-set on having things a certain way.  And I would get mean if anyone said anything about being willing to give a little.  I wouldn't hear of it.  But I wouldn't trade this experience.  I have a new-found respect for c-section mammas.  I honestly don't think I would have had multiple children if I had a c-section first.  That was so much harder recovery wise than my other two births were, in my opinion, but every one is different.  So, just learn that not everything can be perfect, and not every one is out to ruin our experience.  All that matters in the end is that you have a healthy outcome and beautiful baby no matter how that happens, just as long as it does happen.

Acetaminophen Dependency

  Never thought I would reach a point where my body would become dependent on acetaminophen, but it has.  I have been taking it every day for 2 months.  I didn't think there was anything wrong with that.  I had a c-section, and now I deal with a horrible toothache.  I've started grinding my teeth at night that only adds to my toothache.  Yes, I should just go to the dentist.  But...I have 3 kids, no sitter, and the closest in network dentist is 30 miles away.  Not an option right this moment.

  I am not taking much a day.  Not even a full pill.  But I realized there was a problem when I tried not to take it and consistently got horrible headaches on those days.  Sadly, all I'd initially found to counteract this was ibuprofen, which I can not take while breast-feeding.  I finally had a breaking point today that made me realize I need to do something and I need to do it now.  I started to feel a panic attack set in at the thought of taking away those pills.  That is when I realized I need to detox my body from this and do it now.
  So here is what I found.  Large intakes of Vitamin C will counteract what the acetaminophen does in the liver.  Rose hip has the highest amount of Vitamin C according to what I found researching.  So tomorrow I plan to find a rose hip tea of some sort.   I will post more on how I feel after about a week.

 

I've Returned!!

It has been a while!  A lot has happened since that last post.  I did end up having a c-section on the 13th of last month (with out a plan- more on that later), and had a beautiful 7lb. 6oz. baby boy.  I've been recovering and adjusting to life with a preschooler, toddler, and newborn.  Most days I am exhausted and have no desire to do anything but veg out on Pinterest during my down time.  But here I am, ready to get back to writing and finding my creative outlet.  I plan to spend the weekend working on upcoming series and posts, kind of get a game plan to get going again.  And with Christmas right around the corner I hope to get some good posts out before I take a mini break while my husband is off.  

Hope to see you back here soon!!

Christi

The Things No One Talks About: Depression & Pregnancy

 This is my 4 pregnancy.  And with each one came different slumps.  My first pregnancy wasn't really a bad pregnancy, I was just in an abusive relationship that made it an experience I didn't get to enjoy.  My second up until 20 weeks, when I switched to the OB now that I love, every time we went to the doctor something was wrong with the baby.  Then I tragic experience with my third and miscarried at 14 weeks.  Now this one was going great until I was diagnosed with Placenta Previa.  And now on top of figuring out light duty with two other kids at home under 5 I have SPD.  No big deal.  I'm a big girl and at least I have a healthy baby boy on the way.  So why am I depressed?  Hormones?  Deficiency of some sort?  Ungratefulness?  It could probably be a combination of all that.  But I feel so guilty.  Aside from a few minor complications I am doing well and my baby boy is perfect.  I know there are so many reasons to be thankful.  But I've hit a slump.  And I don't believe I'm the only one who gets like this.  But no one talks about it.  Why?  Shame?  Guilt?  I'm 32 weeks along now and I'm ready for it to be over.  Whats wrong with that?  Whats wrong with saying "hey, this isn't enjoyable anymore?"  The movements are no longer cute, they're painful because he is clearly out of room.  I'm tired all the time but can't sleep good because I'm so uncomfortable and unable to breathe half the time.  I suppose the lack of sleep could be contributing to my slump.  But I am just over it.  I know I still have 4-8 weeks left (depending on my cervix and placenta at my next ultrasound in 3 weeks).  That seems so far away.  And that makes me feel worse.  I feel worse about the fact that no one talks about this slump.  I know its more common than we all care to admit.  But why?  Is it because all we see are these picture perfect women who are glowing and "loving every minute" of their pregnancy?  I call bologna.  So here it is, my side of the third trimester.  It's not all roses and champagne for everyone.  There, I said it.  Sometimes it sucks, and you just cry because you're just ready for it to be over.  And if you've been there, you aren't alone.  It DOES NOT mean you're a bad mom, or that you don't appreciate the gift of child-bearing.  It just means you're human.

  Hope to see you back here soon!
          Christi

My Gallon Water Challenge Update

Photo Credit

I haven't been keeping up on this mainly because I found doing it daily would be kind of boring after a while.  So here how its going so far.  I've not been doing as well as I had been.  I'm still drinking more water then I normally would but not as much as I feel I should be.  I feel the difference too!  I've been dealing with headaches and RLS again.  It's motivation to help me push it that is for sure.  I hope to make this a lifestyle change and not just a temporary experiment.  Once you really feel the difference in your body it makes it hard to justify not doing it.  Have any of you switch to just drinking water?  How'd you stick to it?

  Hope to see you back here soon!

           Christi