The Things No One Talks About: Depression & Pregnancy

 This is my 4 pregnancy.  And with each one came different slumps.  My first pregnancy wasn't really a bad pregnancy, I was just in an abusive relationship that made it an experience I didn't get to enjoy.  My second up until 20 weeks, when I switched to the OB now that I love, every time we went to the doctor something was wrong with the baby.  Then I tragic experience with my third and miscarried at 14 weeks.  Now this one was going great until I was diagnosed with Placenta Previa.  And now on top of figuring out light duty with two other kids at home under 5 I have SPD.  No big deal.  I'm a big girl and at least I have a healthy baby boy on the way.  So why am I depressed?  Hormones?  Deficiency of some sort?  Ungratefulness?  It could probably be a combination of all that.  But I feel so guilty.  Aside from a few minor complications I am doing well and my baby boy is perfect.  I know there are so many reasons to be thankful.  But I've hit a slump.  And I don't believe I'm the only one who gets like this.  But no one talks about it.  Why?  Shame?  Guilt?  I'm 32 weeks along now and I'm ready for it to be over.  Whats wrong with that?  Whats wrong with saying "hey, this isn't enjoyable anymore?"  The movements are no longer cute, they're painful because he is clearly out of room.  I'm tired all the time but can't sleep good because I'm so uncomfortable and unable to breathe half the time.  I suppose the lack of sleep could be contributing to my slump.  But I am just over it.  I know I still have 4-8 weeks left (depending on my cervix and placenta at my next ultrasound in 3 weeks).  That seems so far away.  And that makes me feel worse.  I feel worse about the fact that no one talks about this slump.  I know its more common than we all care to admit.  But why?  Is it because all we see are these picture perfect women who are glowing and "loving every minute" of their pregnancy?  I call bologna.  So here it is, my side of the third trimester.  It's not all roses and champagne for everyone.  There, I said it.  Sometimes it sucks, and you just cry because you're just ready for it to be over.  And if you've been there, you aren't alone.  It DOES NOT mean you're a bad mom, or that you don't appreciate the gift of child-bearing.  It just means you're human.

  Hope to see you back here soon!
          Christi